Man Discovers Girlfriend's Old Texts with a Friend Calling Him a 'Project' and 'Fixer-Upper,' Leading Him to Reconsider the Relationship

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    r/TrueOffMyChest u/somethingtobefixed TA⚫ 1d My fiancee started a relationship with me to fix me and I was a project for her
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    My head cannot register or don't want to register what I saw right now. I cannot handle it. I saw a series messages of my fiancee sent to her best friend how I was a project for her and she became with me to see if she can fix me.
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    We are both 28 years old and is set to be married next year. When we first started our relationship, I wasn't in the best condition. A depressive state due to being workaholic, no previous relationship and low self esteem. I met my fiancee through a hobby and she was the one who approached me romantically after talking to each other for a while. I thought she was the best thing ever happened to
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    me. My life completely changed after she came in and she was the one who changed me. She taught me how to dress well, flirt, be a good lover in bed and communicate in a healthy way, recommended therapy and much more. "I am glad I met her. It should be a miracle to encounter her during these bad times". That was my thought but apparently it was all a lie.
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    She uses a Xiaomi phone and wanted me to delete the annoying built-in apps of the operating system. I had this phone for this reason but a message sent by her best friend caught my eye and I saw that disturbing series of messages.
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    It basically said I was a project for her and she wanted to see if she could change and fix me by getting in relationship with me. She later said she is glad that she did it because our relationship is great right now and loves me. I don't even know what to think right now. It's like my whole perception changed and world turned upside down. One side of me says it's nothing, it's normal and we have a good relationship right now but the other part of me is disgusted with everything. With myself, w
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    I want to vent and post because I don't know what else to do until she comes home tomorrow. I feel like vomitting. 1,329 ☐ 508 ☑499
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    mynamecouldbesam • 1d My life completely changed after she came in and she was the one who changed me. She taught me how to dress well, flirt, be a good lover in bed and communicate in a healthy way, recommended therapy and much more. "I am glad I met her. It should be a miracle to encounter her during these bad times". You already know she changed you for the better. Seeing that it was purposeful on her part wouldn't necessarily change much in my eyes.
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    Your life is immeasurably better now. You have also seen that she really does love you. You love her. So sure, you could let this derail your entire relationship. Or you could thank the universe she decided to help you and that this ended in a relationship good enough that you're getting married. Reply 3.4k
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    Funny247365.1d Yes. Sounds like an overreaction. She didn't do it only for the challenge. She obviously was attracted to OP or she wouldn't take on the "better lover" challenge. She saw OP as having great potential and brought out the best in you, which you happily embraced. Win-win. 1.5k
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    Electronic-Cat86.1d I agree with this. He needed help and she wanted to help. Many women don't want a project and don't want to help someone grow up. She loves him and has agreed to marry him so I don't see the problem. She was supposed to pretend she didn't see his flaws? She wanted to love him through it and she did. 132
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    karnstan 23h Yeah, my now wife did all this for me. I was at the lowest point in my life and she took it upon herself to make me whole again. She did. I've never been happier. Afaik she never stated I was a project, but she saw the potential in me when there wasn't much to see and she brought out all my good sides again. If she said I was a project it wouldn't change a thing. It's the kind of project you don't take on unless you love someone and think they're worth spending time and energy on. ←
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    neoastronaut • 1d I totally get you being upset. Talk to her, go to counseling or something. needed That being said, from what you told us you help and she came into your life. She saw a sparkle in you, saw hope and a potential life partner. There's nothing wrong in being "fixed". She made YOU want to be better, for yourself and hers. So try to see it in a good light. Your life could've gone to a very dark place.
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    I truly hope you guys can overcome this and have a beautiful life together! Edit: I meant that they should go to counseling if needed, incase they can't figure it out on themselves and still want to be together. Reply 845
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    WhoBeingLovedlsPoor ⚫ 1d . For all OP knows, she might have just told that to her friends because she didn't know how to explain to them that she was attracted to someone that they would have looked down on so she created the story. ... 182
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    Aetheus 23h This is likely it. People retroactively make up stories to justify themselves all the time. The truth is usually so much simpler. She liked OP, so she dated OP. While dating OP, she helped to turn his life around. Then she concocted her own story of why she did that after, to make it make sense to herself. ← Ŵ 41 ♡
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    lynypixie • 1d So you admit that you were a bit of a fixer upper, she willingly took on the challenge, you lead a good romantic life and you still complain? ... Reply 873
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    littlebitsofspider ⚫ 1d OP GF: "I'm gonna fix him" OP: i do need fixing OP GF: "hey fam, I fixed him up!" OP: "why you gotta say it out loud?!?!" ... 446
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    Haipul • 1d So you are concerned because your partner saw that you had potential and decided that you were worth an effort? Reply 106
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    Squirrels Angel • 1d You were happy your life turned around, but are upset that she set out to help you turn your life around? It's ok to need a partner in life to help you. I do not understand your issue. Reply 92
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    MrSlabBulkhead • 1d I think he's paranoid she didn't actually want to be in a relationship with him (just to fix him up and move on), and thus even with her now legitimately in love with OP she has a higher likelihood of leaving him compared to most people. Now I think he's 100% wrong, I think she was interested in him from day 1 and just wanted to see if he could become the person she hoped he could be, but OPs paranoia has taken over his brain. OP, you need couples counseling with her and to s

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